Motherhood · Documentary · South Central, Los Angeles
On motherhood, presence, and what a two-year-old brings to documentary work
He doesn't ask to be photographed. He doesn't pose. He doesn't pause for the frame or look into the lens the way adults do when they sense a camera nearby. He just moves — and I follow.
Azulu is two years old. He is my son. He is also, increasingly, a presence in my documentary work that I did not plan for and cannot imagine working without.
When I photograph a space — an architectural site, a building, a room that carries the weight of someone's vision — I am looking for the moments that reveal something true. Not the composed, lit, styled version of a place, but the honest one. The version that exists between the shots you plan and the ones you almost miss. Azulu, by simply being himself, is always in that space. He has no interest in performance. He is only ever exactly where he is.
That is a rare quality in documentary work. Most subjects — including me — are at least somewhat aware of the camera. We adjust. We soften, or stiffen, or lean slightly in the direction we think we should. Azulu doesn't do any of that. When he is in the frame, the frame is honest.
I started bringing him with me because I had no choice. There were mornings when work needed to happen and childcare didn't, and so we went together — to Lauren Halsey's Sister Dreamer, to the streets around Western Avenue, to light that was only going to last another hour. What I found was that his presence changed the work. Not by softening it, but by grounding it. A two-year-old moving through an architectural monument is a document of scale, of time, of what it means for something to be built for a community that includes children.
I don't know yet what his role in this practice will become. I know that he is not incidental to it. I know that some of the truest images I've made in the last year have him in them — not because he is the subject, but because his presence makes everything else more honest.
He doesn't know he's in the frame. That's exactly why he belongs there.